By Angela Verges
There’s an old school pop song where the lyrics say, “The men all pause when I walk into a room.” After a certain age, those lyrics take on a whole new meaning. What I hear now is MEN-O-PAUSE. I’ve gotten Men-o-pause when I walk into a room. And that’s when I began to take a non-traditional approach to trudging through the trenches of menopause—by sprinkling it with humor.
There’s nothing funny about menopause, but laughter can help you move through it with a smattering of grace. Humorist, Erma Bombeck had the right idea when she said, “If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.” She was referring to life in general, but it is certainly a statement you can apply as needed.
Just as fast-food restaurants offer a combo meal. I have a combo for working through challenging situations—humor and journaling. In fact, journaling was one of the tools in the process of birthing my book, Menopause Ain’t No Joke. The book is a non-traditional devotional. It’s a collection of my personal essays on parenting, fitness, dental visits, and other life situations with a dollop of humor.
You’ve probably heard the saying laughter is the best medicine. If your doctor told you that you needed a dose of laughter three times a day, what would that look like for you? Ponder that for a moment…okay, times up. Here are a few ideas:
Share a laugh with a friend
Read something funny
Watch a funny movie
Laughter is therapeutic. It can be soothing and is a great tool for stress relief. Humor has always been a sidekick to my writing. I have always loved writing and consider myself a collector of words. If I see a word, phrase, or quote that I like, I scribble it down for later potential use. My scribbles developed into paragraphs, stories and eventually a book. Some of the episodes in the book were developed into stand-up comedy material.
When my sons were toddlers, I began keeping notes on funny things they would say. I wasn’t sure at the time how I would use them, but none the less, I jotted things down. I still remember when one of my sons was five years old and we were seated at the breakfast table. He had his head bowed and eyes closed to say his blessing.
After several seconds, my son opened his eyes and I asked, “What did you say in your blessing?”
“Nothing,” he answered. “I just closed my eyes like you do.”
It wasn’t until years later when I began a blog, that I included that statement in a humorous parenting article. Then another several years passed before comedy rolled onto the scene. This reminds me of the Bible parables about seeds being planted and waiting for a harvest.
As I stopped to think about how I had the courage to perform comedy, I believe the seed was planted the day I prayed for boldness. Obviously, I was not specific in my prayer, because never in million years did I imagine myself performing comedy.
My first experience with stand-up comedy in front of an audience was in 2015 when a fellow parishioner was planning a Women’s Day event called—A Night of Elegance. She wanted to include comedy and I boldly said, “I’ll do it,” and accepted the challenge. I arrived…nervous, but wearing my evening gown, long white gloves, and carrying note cards to help me remember my jokes. I reminded myself that I was among friends, and all was well.
In 2017 I inched out of my comfort zone a little more and participated in a pageant for African American women 50 and older. As contestants, we had to perform a talent. What do you think I did? Comedy…in front of about 500 people—and they laughed! A month after that event I signed up for a talent show sponsored by a local church, and I won second place.
I began to be invited to provide humor at prayer breakfasts, luncheons, retreats, and other gatherings. Things were happening in God’s divine order. During the beginning of the pandemic, while we were in quarantine, other opportunities for comedy developed.
As a member of Toastmasters (public speaking and leadership organization), a fellow member asked me to join her in hosting a series we titled Humor in the Workplace. This led to another door opening. One of our guests told me about a friend who was coaching and teaching comedy workshops through Zoom. Yes! I signed up.
Over the past two years I continued to sign up for the workshop sessions. There were performances at the end of the sessions for us to test our material. I began to embrace the title comedian and I found joy in giving people a reason to laugh. This past summer I completed a six-week comedy workshop and continue to take advantage of opportunities for stage time.
Each step in my journey is paved with praises and glory as I lean on my spirituality during challenging times. One on my reasons for writing Menopause Ain’t No Joke was to show how humor and faith can be combined to ease some of life’s struggles.
Some nights consist of fighting and kicking the bed covers because it’s hot one minute and cold the next. Leg in the cover, leg out of the cover. Suddenly, a game of the Hokey Pokey begins. It is times like these where we can choose our response. When it feels as though a situation is coming apart at the seams, find a thread of humor to weave it back together.
You don’t have to be a comedian to find joy through laughter. Think about the things that make you smile, chuckle, or burst out laughing. It could be a day out with friends, something funny that Uncle Joe did at the last family gathering, or a funny pet. Whatever causes a smile to bubble from your belly, and up to your lips, do more of it.
Be encouraged, walk in faith, and know that there is a plan for you.
Angela Verges is a native Detroiter who writes books for children and blogs about parenting experiences as she practices being a grown up. You can also find her on stage bringing laughter to others. Check out her collection of essays in her book Menopause Ain’t No Joke, or her eBook Laughter H.E.L.P.S. Follow her on Instagram at writermama223, on Facebook@angela.verges, or visit her website, angelaverges.net.
Related Content:
I am fortunate to live on a street that’s close to downtown, where I can sit on my front porch and, for three seasons of the year, anyway, I can hail all my neighbors as they pass by. I can get to know their names and their dogs’ names, too. I see the same pairs of women walking or running together and talking.