Obsessive Intrusive Magical Thinking by Marianne Eloise is a raw and compelling exploration of the author’s journey through the labyrinth of neurodiversity. Eloise candidly invites readers into the intimate corridors of her mind, offering a poignant and authentic account of living with intrusive thoughts, and the relentless pursuit of magical thinking.
Posts filed under Personal Growth
The Wisdom of Depression
If you would have told me eight years ago that my depression held wisdom and had something to teach me, I would have thought you were crazy. Like driving down Main Street on game day crazy. That's because I was smack in what I call my "Dead Decade." From age 18-28, I was depressed, and I mean depressed. I was certain depression was the worst thing to ever happen to me because it had destroyed my life, sabotaged my promising professional career as the lead singer of a rock band, and left me in ruins.
We Don’t Talk About Bruno
Mental illness, however, remains stigmatized in much the same way as being sexually assaulted. Both carry a sense of shame, often imposed by an unspoken judgment that implies the illness or injury could have been prevented if only the victim had done something differently. This makes it difficult to have honest conversations with survivors of sexual violence and those who live with mental illness. This inability to have open and compassionate conversations often leaves the one carrying the pain feeling even more isolated and unjustly ashamed.
Stalker: A Spiritual Film in the Eyes of an Atheist
My son, an enthusiastic fan of classic cinema, once tried to convince my mother to let him watch a movie called Stalker before he went to bed. Being a sensible woman, she refused to allow her eight-year-old grandson to watch a film with such a foreboding title. He tried to explain to her that “stalker” in this context didn’t mean a dangerous and unwanted follower, but instead described a guide through a magical area called the Zone wherein lies a room that grants wishes. My poor mother again refused him as this explanation made little sense and sounded made up on the spot.
Intervulnerability: Practicing Love at the University of Michigan Art Museum
Humidity weighted the autumn air as I walked across the University of Michigan Ann Arbor campus. Vermilion ivy coated the walls of the buildings while orange trees stood like flames amid the evergreen shrubs lining the sidewalk. In the distance, I heard chants of a protest on State Street as I sauntered through the prismatic glass entrance of the art museum.
Be a Solar Panel: Tips for Managing the Dark Days Ahead
It was late October when I moved to Michigan from Alaska 16 years ago. The day I met my new neighbor, he enthusiastically told me some of the reasons he loved Michigan. It was reassuring, as a mom with three young kids, to hear the positive things he had to say about growing up here, but I had to admit that I was probably most excited about living in a place that has four seasons. I said that as much as I loved living in Alaska, the long winters were challenging for me—cold winters when some days the sun would rise after 10 a.m. and set before 4 p.m. I did not mention how much my mood was affected by the scarcity of light, but when I noted that I looked forward to having more sunlight during the winter, he laughed and responded with something like, “I don’t know if you know this, but even though we don’t have the same extreme when it comes to sun up and down, the sky can be gray pretty much all winter.”
A Singer, a Song, and Memories
I first heard Steve Goodman’s song, “The City of New Orleans” over fifty years ago. I remember seeing him sing it at the Mariposa Folk Festival sometime in the mid 1970s, but I heard Arlo Guthrie’s much better-known version even earlier. I thought it was a terrific song, but I felt no special pull to learn it. I continued to come across it occasionally over the years, especially in the mid ‘80s after Willie Nelson’s version came out, and always felt the same about it.
Out of My Comfort Zone: An Inside Journey
Here’s the thing I’ve noticed about stepping out of your comfort zone: The more resistance you feel about doing the uncomfortable thing, the more learning and transformation you’ll experience when you do it.
By definition, everything on the above list fell outside of my comfort zone, and nothing on this list catalyzed resistance like healing chronic illness. Healing has been the ultimate adventure out of my comfort zone.
Book Review: Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
In an age characterized by ceaseless distractions and a relentless assault on our attention spans, Johann Hari’s thought-provoking work, Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How to Think Deeply Again, emerges as a timely and illuminating exploration of the modern cognitive landscape. In a world where the stimulating call of smartphones, social media, and constant connectivity beckons incessantly, Hari navigates the turbulent seas of our digital age with insight and personal resonance. The narrative provides astute observations, practical wisdom, and the hope that we can reclaim the ability to think deeply and engage meaningfully in our world.
The Role of Our Autobiography in Our Present and Future Life
Our past deeply impacts our present. Our childhood experiences have a huge impact on how we view the world today. We are deeply influenced, for better or worse, by the dynamics in our family, our religious upbringing, our cultural experiences, any bullying or trauma we endured, and the list goes on. All of these experiences are part of our autobiography and influence how we behave, think, and feel. In addition, how we experience life today, will impact how we experience life tomorrow.
Hedgewitching
In high school, I’d been set free to take French classes at the university. Waiting in the library to be picked up, I wandered and read. On a physical level I was hungry for more than stories. I didn’t eat much breakfast and found the atmosphere at school non-conducive to lunch. Like many students locked into what seemed an alien rhythm, I existed in a tattered state.
Out of My Comfort Zone: Answering the Call to Rest
At the beginning of this year, I did what many of us do when preparing for another trip around the sun. I set about visioning, but also taking real stock and looking at the reality of the health of my enterprises, my finances, and my body. My approach to the known challenges, I decided, was to bring in freshness of perspective, make some pivots, and then put my head down and work it. My retail business and its educational programming are currently at a critical juncture, and they really needed my undivided attention and energy. Therefore, plans for personal development (i.e, retreats, trainings, coaching), travel, or casual socializing were put on hold. I felt good about this plan. I love my work. I want my business to thrive, and I needed a big turnaround in terms of finances. So, I grabbed my oar. However, a naughty word kept creeping into my thoughts…Sabbatical.*
Book Review: A Lantern in the Dark: Navigate Life’s Crossroads with Story, Ritual, and Sacred Astrology
Danielle Blackwood meets readers at life’s crossroads–a space of “betwixt and between”–where she guides and inspires through story, ritual, and sacred astrology. Infused with myth, folklore, and the hidden wisdom in stories, A Lantern in the Dark, provides insights to readers of varying ages and stages of life while they stand at a juncture often riddled with confusion, dilemma, and restlessness.
Out of My Comfort Zone: Sometimes I Fall: The Discomfort of Asking
In response to your kind inquiry, ‘Would you be interested in writing?,’ right off the bat, I’ve been transported a few miles, to the outskirts of the town of Discomfort. I stare at its welcome sign. Founded: at the beginning of human time. Population: countless.
A Minute to Meditate: Laughter as Self-Care
As busy moms, it’s acceptable to want more time, more help, more space, and the list goes on. An important element to add to your list of more, is self-care. I am reminded of a safety instruction given by flight attendants, once you board a plane, "In the event of an emergency secure yourself, then assist your child." I’m paraphrasing that statement, but the idea is that in order to help someone else, you must be well.
Out of My Comfort Zone: Stretching Out of My Comfort Zone
Generally speaking, my comfort zone is not small. I have lived in foreign countries, trekked in the Himalayas, paraglided off a 5,000 foot cliff, flown in teeny tiny planes over the Amazon rain forest, stood on my head on various mountain tops, and held a giant anaconda around my neck (that one was mostly for the photo op). But when asked to write an article about stepping out of my comfort zone, I immediately knew what I’d share. And it turns out I am not alone in this fear. In fact, it comes in at number two on the list of people’s biggest fears. It is of course, the fear of public speaking (in case you’re interested, fear of death is number one on the list).
How Humor Helps Me Over a Hurdle
I’m working once again to lose my post-pregnancy weight…it’s been 25 years since the baby. There have been peaks and valleys, fitness regimens and meal plans. Just when I thought I had things under control, menopause slapped me in the face. I hit a plateau. A brick wall. A stand-off.
Book Review: An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us
Many books praise the natural world, but none quite like Ed Yong does in his book An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us. He takes readers on a journey into the sensory bubble in which we live, examining the nuances between each creature’s unique perception.
Finding Myself Through Human Design
On New Year’s Eve 2020, I was feeling a lot of pressure about choosing a career path. The pressure came from my partner of six years, Jake. He was frustrated that I could not just choose a career and stick with it. He couldn’t understand that I no longer wanted to work a traditional job and felt burnt out. I felt like I was living in the movie Groundhog’s Day. No matter where I worked, I always found myself in the same situation. Either the boss would not understand me and become angry or frustrated, or if it was not the boss, it would be a co-worker. Every traditional job I had seemed to chew me up and spit me out. I would find myself in a pattern of staying for about two years before the environment became toxic, and I would hop to the next job. I never understood why this would happen. I was a hard worker, friendly, and did my best, but it did not matter. I was stuck in the same cycle.
Beautiful Ways
I was raised in rural Colorado and on the Navajo Nation reservation in Arizona, in what is known as The Four Corners region. On a map, this area appears as a cross where four right angles meet to join Colorado, Arizona, Utah, and New Mexico. This is the original home of several Native American groups, including the Navajo people, also known by their preferred name of Dine’ (dih-neh), meaning “The People.” I feel fortunate to have been immersed in such a unique culture, and I often reflect on the experiences that taught me some valuable life lessons.
