It was late October when I moved to Michigan from Alaska 16 years ago. The day I met my new neighbor, he enthusiastically told me some of the reasons he loved Michigan. It was reassuring, as a mom with three young kids, to hear the positive things he had to say about growing up here, but I had to admit that I was probably most excited about living in a place that has four seasons. I said that as much as I loved living in Alaska, the long winters were challenging for me—cold winters when some days the sun would rise after 10 a.m. and set before 4 p.m. I did not mention how much my mood was affected by the scarcity of light, but when I noted that I looked forward to having more sunlight during the winter, he laughed and responded with something like, “I don’t know if you know this, but even though we don’t have the same extreme when it comes to sun up and down, the sky can be gray pretty much all winter.”
Posts filed under Mindfulness
Hedgewitching
In high school, I’d been set free to take French classes at the university. Waiting in the library to be picked up, I wandered and read. On a physical level I was hungry for more than stories. I didn’t eat much breakfast and found the atmosphere at school non-conducive to lunch. Like many students locked into what seemed an alien rhythm, I existed in a tattered state.
Bringing Warmth: Grief as an Anti-Racist Practice
Harriet Tubman stares at me as I approach her. I am walking in the forest behind the high school with my dogs. It is an early spring morning, the sun lighting the sky but not yet risen, trees leafless, robin and cardinal calls in my ears. In 2020, art appeared in the forest: a colorful banded ACAB (for “All Cops are Bastards” used by a variety of groups, both racist and anti-racist) sign, Toni Morrison’s portrait printed on sheet metal and Harriet, in orange and green. While Toni is gone, the others remain, and I greet them as I pass, Harriet in particular. Her eyes reach through time to touch my heart and depending on what is happening in the world, I feel her gaze as accusing, patient, angry, vulnerable, or shocked.
Field of the Five Horses
I’d been given some gourmet coffee for Christmas. It was late at night. I’d have to work in the morning, but, feeling impelled to give it a try, I brewed the rich dark potion.
The next day I remembered a night when I was eight years old. I was living in the tropics with my family, where heat thins boundaries and can induce fertile dreaming. I’d been allowed to drink a caffeinated beverage just before going to bed, a one-time occurrence. As I lay wide awake, the aquarium music from Saint-Saens’ Carnival of the Animals played in my brain. It got louder and louder. My room faded into green mist and shoals of golden fish swam through it from various angles and directions, hovering and then dissolving. Having gone to school opposite one of those old, gothic mental hospitals, I was frightened I might be locked up in it when we returned to the States, and I clutched the sheets until the vision dissipated.
Roadside Marsh
The westbound traffic on Interstate 94 is at a crawl this morning and I couldn’t be happier. It’s a Wednesday and brilliant sunshine glints in my rear view mirror.
Beautiful Ways
I was raised in rural Colorado and on the Navajo Nation reservation in Arizona, in what is known as The Four Corners region. On a map, this area appears as a cross where four right angles meet to join Colorado, Arizona, Utah, and New Mexico. This is the original home of several Native American groups, including the Navajo people, also known by their preferred name of Dine’ (dih-neh), meaning “The People.” I feel fortunate to have been immersed in such a unique culture, and I often reflect on the experiences that taught me some valuable life lessons.
Hygge-- Create a Cozy Winter
Hygge, pronounced “hoo-gah,” is a Danish word that can most readily be described as a sort of coziness, although it’s more than that. It also comes from the word hugga, which is related to the word hug and means to comfort and console. So, it’s little surprise that it’s what keeps the Danes the happiest people on the planet even though they endure frigid winters with little daylight. Sunrise in a Copenhagen winter can be as late as 9:00 am while sunset can arrive not long after by 3:30 p.m.
Conscious Parenting: Why Teaching Kids About Presence Can Help Them Become More Resilient
The more present we become, the more we increase our capacity for joy. Learning to be present is challenging, irrespective of age. However, integrating mindfulness practices provides youth the tools to better process their feelings.
A Walk Within and Beyond: Labyrinths Lead the Way
The bright service-blue sign simply stating “labyrinth” caught my attention as I was driving by St. Barnabus in Chelsea, MI. It was on my literal path, thus destined to be part of my journey that day. Suffice it to say at the start of our walk together in this article, when I stood at the entrance of this 11 circuit, 40 foot labyrinth, I felt a mystical buzz. I was about to embark on a new spiritual entry point.
Conscious Parenting: Meditation For Breakfast
I’m really good at anger; I always have been. The fight response in my threat system is ready to launch. If I wanted to slip back into my old baseline of anger in that moment, I had plenty of reasons to: I was in a rush, I was hungry, I was feeling unappreciated for the things I didn’t forget to do for my sons, I was feeling vulnerable at my son’s implication that my best wasn’t enough, and I was feeling blamed for “ruining” my son’s morning routine.
Changing Our Minds--Kindness, Clarity, and Insight
Kindness, Clarity, and Insight is a collection of talks that the Tibetan Buddhist Dalai Lama gave in the USA and Canada more than forty years ago. With this and later books, the Dalai Lama brought Tibetan Buddhism and the situation in Tibet into prominent international awareness; he went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989.
Do Unto Others--A Modest Proposal
One morning earlier this year, I went to buy tires at a local store I’ve patronized for over four decades. The man behind the counter and I recognized each other, he’s worked there for many of those years. After we said our hellos, I told him what I needed and he said, “I’ve got the tires, but only one guy to put them on the cars. I’m full up today and for the rest of the week.” (This was on a Tuesday morning.) “Come back next Monday,” he said.
What We Can Predict
The Farmer’s Almanac predicts a colder, flakier winter than usual for those of us who live in The Mitten. Normally this would not be worth noting, but there is no “normally” anymore, and so I do note it.
Maybe I note this prediction because at a time when truth seems to be elusive, and not being prepared threatens to be deadly, The Farmer’s Almanac is a reliable source when it comes to foretelling the weather and helping people prepare. And it tips its hat to inclusivity, in that anyone is welcome to read and heed its advice—not just farmers. According to the Old Farmer’s Almanac website, it is North America’s most popular reference guide and oldest continuously published periodical.
Healers of Ann Arbor: Mindful Awakenings with Julie Woodward
Through the pandemic, many people have reached out to healers and wellness teachers for self-care techniques and help through crisis. One such teacher, Julie Woodward of Mindful Awakenings, seemingly does it all. She teaches yoga for resilience, mindfulness meditation, and leads nature immersion hikes that help us all re-anchor ourselves in the present moment and recharge through times of stress.
CW Kids in the Community: Finding an In-Person Meditation Class for Your Kid
Kids who have been isolated this year might benefit a great deal from a meditation practice in the fall. Meditation is not just a way to relax—it gives kids a toolkit for handling stressful situations that life brings. It can be tricky to figure out which programs are going back to in person and what options are out there, so we did the digging for you to help families find some popular and newer meditation classes around town. Many of the meditation teachers featured graciously explained what a class with them is like, so you can get a sense of whether this is a fit for your little one. Namaste, fellow parents. It’s been a long year, and you’ve done an amazing job holding it all together for your family.
Angels On the Surgery Critical Care Ward: Ice Water, Warm Blankets, and 24/7 Prayer
It all started from eating bad chicken, or so I thought. I lost everything in my stomach over a period of three hours, and the pain was only getting worse, so I called the answering service for my primary care doctor. It was early in the morning on May fifth, and a nurse instructed me to go to the U-M Hospital ER right away. I had a lot of misgivings, mostly because I knew from a doctor friend that the U-M was still treating a significant number of people for Covid-19.
Conscious Parenting: Mindfulness Tips Teens Wish Parents Knew
By Natalie Freeburn
As a high school mindfulness teacher, I enjoy guiding, practicing, and applying mindfulness techniques along with my students. Seeing them learn about themselves as they grow their mindfulness practice teaches me about them daily. Every year, however, my students tell me I should teach a mindfulness class for parents and guardians, too. So, I’ve asked them, what have you learned in this class that you would most like them to know? If adults can practice tuning inward and grounding themselves when they are faced with challenging situations or strong emotions, it becomes easier for us to teach our children to do the same.
Navigating Emotions
As human beings, we all experience a full range of emotions, but identifying how we feel at any given moment can be easier said than done. Of course, it’s easier to allow ourselves the space to feel emotions that are pleasant or acceptable to societal norms. What happens, though, when we’re feeling unpleasant emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, or boredom? When we don’t allow ourselves to feel what we feel, it can have many unintended consequences. Avoiding unpleasant feelings with cover-up behaviors is not uncommon. It can be hard to turn inward and admit what we are actually feeling and understand what those feelings are trying to tell us. Many people avoid uncomfortable feelings with distracting behaviors or negative choices. Oftentimes, people act as though they are angry, but when they look deeper, they may find they are feeling ashamed, disrespected, embarrassed, or hurt. Anger is more accessible and acceptable, especially for many boys who are told to “man up” or “don’t be a baby.” We need to be allowed to acknowledge the deeper, more vulnerable emotions. All feelings are normal, human, and okay to feel, however uncomfortable they may be. It can be helpful to think of our feelings as clouds—ever-changing, and some more pleasant than others. Some linger for a long time like the gray of a winter day; some come and go like a passing storm; some are beautifully full of color. When we are feeling unpleasant emotions, remember that eventually, like the clouds, it won’t always be this way. This can be helpful to remember when we feel stuck in an unpleasant emotion like anxiety or boredom—but leaning in to acknowledge the emotion is the first step in loosening its grip.
Accept and Allow All Feelings
One great way to utilize mindfulness is to recognize one’s emotions in order to deal with them, which is a practice Dr. Daniel Siegal calls, “Name it to Tame it.” Consider our feelings like a very excited toddler who has something important to tell you. The sweet child won’t stop begging for attention until what they are trying to say is repeated out loud. Once they are acknowledged, they feel heard, and they move on. Likewise, when we avoid acknowledging an unpleasant feeling, it tends to linger on until confronted. What we resist, persists. Therefore, model being vulnerable with your feelings around your kids. Talk about how you’re feeling, especially when you are feeling unpleasant. This act of vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but demonstrates your humanity to your kids, and it opens the doors for them to be open and vulnerable with you as well. Children and teens often hold difficult feelings inside all day when they are away from home. For many, home is often their safe space where they feel they can be themselves and still be accepted, because of this they often let it all out on the family or trusted loved ones. While this is hard and often creates tension at home, kids do this because they feel safe. As their parent, we should stay grounded, allow for some space, and then get curious about what’s really going on. Try staying calm and open, centered, taking a moment to pause before proceeding.
Power of the Pause
People typically act how they feel to some extent. When people feel right, they act right. However, when the emotions are less positive, having a personal meditation practice can help parents center themselves and avoid reacting rather than responding. Allowing time to pause when feeling annoyed, angry, or frustrated to think about how to respond rather than react out of strong emotion takes time and practice. Although hitting the pause button is difficult, kids are asked to do it all of the time. So, model this, “I’m so frustrated with your behavior right now. I need some time to cool off and then we’ll come back to it.” Or if you see your teen getting revved up, offer them time to step away for a moment. This lets our thinking brain and feelings brain reconnect; otherwise, we end up saying things that don’t work toward discovering the root of the problem.
Read related article:Where the Rubber Meets the Road: Strategies for the Emotional Challenges of Parenting — Helping Children Adjust to a New Sibling
Listen With Compassion and Without Judgment
Growing up is hard. Our teens face immense amounts of pressure to “succeed” in all areas of their lives. This pressure doesn’t only come from external sources like parents, teachers, coaches, and the media, but they are constantly comparing themselves to each other and putting additional pressure on themselves. All this while trying to figure out who they are, what they stand for, and where they fit in. It can feel hard and messy at times. From teaching, I have learned not to assume I know what’s going on in the lives of my students. Kids and teens can be very open and honest when they are given the space to say what’s on their minds without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. Try asking questions about how something might pan out to get them thinking of things they may not consider instead of judging them or offering advice. This helps them process and come to conclusions on their own and helps them build confidence in their ability to make difficult decisions.
Allow Space to “Mess Up”
We are all human. We all make mistakes. One of the top contributing factors to anxiety and students feeling hopeless is the fear of failure. Sometimes, fear is so great it prevents people from taking healthy risks such as contributing to discussions, talking to unfamiliar people, saying the wrong thing when making a phone call to schedule an appointment, or facing a challenge. A student once told me her mom calls mistakes “learning opportunities.” Wise advice! As a parent, it’s hard to see our kids struggle, and we want them to be successful and feel joy. However, we must allow our kids to feel disappointed, bored, and frustrated with low-stakes problems in life so that they may learn how to cope when life gets more challenging. When we “fix” problems for them, we rob them of the belief that they are capable of working through problems on their own. Becoming aware of how you respond to your own mistakes and how you react when your kids inadvertently mess up is more valuable. Responding with kindness, compassion, calmness, and blamelessness, allows them (and ourselves) the space to think about how to work through a mistake or problem, whether we process together or independently, can be one of the biggest gifts we can give them on how to handle the challenges they will face in adulthood.
Natalie Freeburn is a high school Family and Consumer Science, Mindfulness, and Careers in Education teacher in Saline, MI. She can be reached at freeburn@salineschools.org
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Conversations with Nature
There is a reason we feel more peaceful when we spend time connecting with our pets or hiking in the forest. Nature is in perpetual energetic flow and does not manipulate energy the way people do. Humans continually try to divert, filter, suppress, create, and extinguish energy. Because of this, when we are immersed in the flow of nature, our body’s energetic response is to line up with that frequency. We let go of a little of that human tendency to control energy. It’s relaxing, and when we are relaxed, we are open to receive communication from our own intuition as well as Source (the name I will use in reference to God, Universe, Deity, Divinity).
Conscious Parenting: Dealing with Disappointment Mindfully
Parenting is challenging. Being a parent during a pandemic is even more difficult. How can we help our children cope with the disappointments that come their way while dealing with our own? Over the last year, Covid shutdowns have canceled many activities that our children enjoy—birthday parties, school, soccer games—even visits with grandma and grandpa. Some older children have missed milestone moments like getting a driving license, going to prom, or attending a graduation ceremony. Losing these precious times, as well as contact with friends, teachers, and other special people, has been hard on us as adults, but even more devastating to our children. How can we help our children respond to these many cancellations?
Live Love--Share the Hearts
By Michael Oliver
As I embarked on my journey into 2020, I found my fellow human beings becoming increasingly angry, fearful, and distrustful of each other. I asked myself this question, “Is this who we really are?” It felt like the negative and dark energy hiding in the shadows finally found a doorway. So many triggers appeared, and they would consistently attempt to flip the switches of light, to darkness. At times it felt terribly dark and other times, it felt like light was returning. It is a battle that continues today, but is not a new battle; it is a different battle.
What is different about this battle, you may ask? Awareness! Yes, we are more aware of what was lurking in the darkness than we were in the past. Humans are waking up! And it is in that process of waking up that we are learning to acknowledge the ways of the past that have been damaging to our species and limiting our growth toward living a life of love and joy. For me, 2020 triggered a deep and self-reflective time. I kept pondering over what I could do to make life for humanity better, and I came up with the Share the Hearts Campaign.
The Share the Hearts Campaign was inspired by Dr. Kenneth McCulley who founded a human potential development program which included a poem titled I Live Love Every Moment of My Life. In that poem, Dr. McCulley’s primary message was to wake people up to the reality that we all come from the same source and as such, we are all brothers and sisters, one and the same. It was Dr. McCulley’s dream that all humans demonstrate, unconditionally, Living Love—performing acts of kindness for their fellow human beings. Motivated by the energy and effort of Dr. McCulley, our team wanted to build a campaign that would operationalize that message to the world.
Sharing a simple wooden heart can make a difference! Every act of kindness, thoughtfulness, caring, and copassion, is an act of living a life of love—as the Beatles once sang, “All We Need is Love.” True! What a difference love can make.
Mindtation, a small start-up company, is on a mission to help people find their paths of joy, because when people are living their joy, they live a life that is aligned with who they truly are, living in and experiencing positive synchronicities. We decided that we wanted to do something fun, yet meaningful, to engage people back into love consciousness and help them along with aligning with their true selves.
Read related article: Living From the Awakened Heart
Along with teaching the power of meditation, the breath, mindfulness, intuition and sound, we are initiating the Share the Hearts campaign to help spread loving kindness. Wondering how it works? Small packets of wooden hearts are purchased from our website and then you can give them to people you “catch” doing acts of loving kindness. In the packet, there is a heart and a card explaining the purpose of this event. Each one of us will be the eyes of the change we want to see. This act, this awareness, plants the seed of love and kindness into one’s consciousness—making it grow each time it is acknowledged within someone else. Each time a wooden heart is given for an act of kindness, it reinforces love and kindness within yourself (the giver) as well as expanding the consciousness of love in others (the receivers).
At the deepest level, we are all one and the same. As Peter Yarrow said, “There is only one river. There is only one sea. And it flows through you, and it flows through me. There is only one people. We are one and the same.” The kick-off for Mindtation’s Sharing the Hearts Campaign took place on April 9th, 2021. To kick-off the event, Mindtation presented a video providing an overview of what it means to live in joy and love—especially during stressful times and the many benefits that it can bring. The purpose of this campaign is to bring us back to loving kindness and mindfulness...bring us back to awareness of our own humanity.
Let’s re-learn how to respond to all situations with love. The goal is to put the intention of Living Love, our Truth, back into the world.
If you are interested in this campaign and would like to learn more, please visit Sharethehearts.com. A percentage of all heart package purchases will be donated to select charities.
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Imagine your child is trying to figure something out, like what to do for the summer. As your child talks to you, what kinds of questions do you feel drawn to ask? Do the questions have more to do with supporting your child in exploring the parts of the conversation your child wants to explore, or more to do with your own concerns? What could enable your child to get the benefit of having plenty of room to talk out loud and to take the conversation wherever your child wants to go with it?