Out of My Comfort Zone: An Inside Journey

By Kellie Mox

Comfort zone: A familiar psychological state where people are at ease and in control of their environment, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress (Wikipedia).

I studied abroad.

I jumped out of an airplane.

I started a business.

I acted in a feature film.

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed about stepping out of your comfort zone: The more resistance you feel about doing the uncomfortable thing, the more learning and transformation you’ll experience when you do it.

By definition, everything on the above list fell outside of my comfort zone, and nothing on this list catalyzed resistance like healing chronic illness. Healing has been the ultimate adventure out of my comfort zone.

How We Heal

Kellie Mox MPH, DCHM, CCH catalyzes healing with women and children through trauma-informed homeopathy, intrinsic coaching, and holistic health education. She is passionate about authentic, meaningful connections—to self, others, and the world—and believes that healing flourishes when we strengthen these connections. Mox is a certified classical homeopath and a certified coach with a master’s in health behavior and health education. She works with women and children virtually and in-person from her home base near Ann Arbor, Michigan. Learn more at kelliemox.com or send an email to heal@kelliemox.com.

I’m a homeopath and healing coach. I’ve always studied and worked in this realm. My experience with anorexia as a teen drove the desire to understand the psychology of health, and I never stopped exploring how we heal.

Even though I recovered from that eating disorder, the underlying disturbance that catalyzed it lived on inside of me. As an adult, I experienced chronic symptoms that led to diagnoses of Lyme disease, SIBO, pyroluria, CIRS, IBS, EPI, autoimmunity, and more.

My exploration into healing myself brought me to homeopathy and to some of my most challenging and transformative experiences outside of my comfort zone. You see, a premise of homeopathy is that suppression of ourselves—our physical symptoms, our emotions, our voice, our authenticity—creates disease.

In order to heal and experience true vitality we must allow our body, heart, mind, and soul fullness of self-expression.

Lessons from Self-Expression

Oh, how I resisted self-expression. There are so many ways it took me out of my comfort zone. But, the pain of this kind of discomfort is, as author and trauma expert Resmaa Menakem calls it, a clean pain. Clean pain has the power to heal. The pain of suppression is akin to what Menakem calls dirty pain. And that pain drives dis-ease deeper into our being. Knowing this, I’ve chosen to practice self-expression again and again. Each time I turn toward expression and away from suppression, I connect more deeply with myself. I heal. I learn.

Trusting My Body

I spent a large part of my life disconnected from my body. I didn’t have an awareness or understanding of the wisdom in expression, so I feared my uncomfortable symptoms, cravings, impulses, and sensations. I tried to quiet them or make them go away by numbing, distracting, medicating, fixing, or analyzing. All of this resistance is a form of suppression, which kept me stuck and feeling stagnant in my healing, because I couldn’t trust my body to do what it knew how to do. It knew how to heal.

Now, more and more, I’m able step out of my suppressive comfort zone and be with my body’s expressions. I may dialogue with an uncomfortable symptom or connect with a sensation through meditation when I notice the urge to fix or change it. It’s a positive feedback loop. The trust between me and my body grows every time I witness and allow my body to move through whatever’s moving through, which in turn allows the symptoms or sensations to move through with more ease. Through expression I’ve learned how to trust my body.

Accepting Myself

I always thought of myself as a “heart on my sleeve” kind of person, and that’s true, in part. But not all human emotions were in my comfort zone. Anger, for example, isn’t a culturally acceptable emotion for women to feel and express. It’s one emotion that I resisted for much of my life. It emerged, nonetheless, coming out sideways through digestive issues, muscle spasms, and pain.

Now, more and more, I’m able to step out of my suppressive comfort zone to be with and express difficult emotions. Sometimes I break sticks or sing a song at full volume or hold myself with compassion. Every time I do this, parts of me that once felt unacceptable remember their okayness. Through expression I’ve nurtured self-acceptance.

Knowing My Mind

I’m a recovering people pleaser. Pleasing others was a coping mechanism in my comfort zone because making others happy meant I was okay; I was safe, and I belonged. Of course, I resisted the alternative. But unchecked people pleasing lacks boundaries. Chronically poor boundaries contributed to my disease. Freeing myself from these pleasing patterns required me to express and live in alignment with my truth, even if others disapproved or felt displeased.

Now, more and more, I’m able to step out of my suppressive, boundaryless comfort zone and express my needs, desires, thoughts, and feelings. Every time I practice (and it is a practice), it’s a declaration of who I am. I get to know myself more with every boundary I set. Through expression I’ve grown in self-awareness.

An Inside Journey

The ultimate adventure outside of my comfort zone has been an inside journey. Nothing in my life catalyzed so much growth and transformation as healing. Even when expression feels uncomfortable, I know now that going into the discomfort transforms it. Just like in homeopathy—like cures like.

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